Am I lonely ??

I know this sounds like a question I should be asking myself, but let throw a few ideas out and see if they stick, maybe typing them out will clear things up.

Friends?? NOPE .... yes I've got them, a small circle, but do I have enough?? I think the real question is why isn't my circle any bigger? What happened to my high school friends? What about college people?? Work friends??

Well, let me tell you, I'm pretty happy when it comes to my friendships, the circle has proven to be a little loose, everybody is a married with children. That really throws a curve when planning anything, and it's just easier to do things by myself. Sure I'd love to be a Father's, hanging out, drinking bear, and taking my cheese OFF the pizza because it's OOOhh soo good that way:), but I realize I'm not 25 anymore and things do change over time. I've also said I'd go to the wall for my friends, and that might be even more true now that I'm the single guy and they've got kids.

As for high school friends, I was a bit of a floater, always running around taking photos and making good with everybody, but making very few friends I would hang out with after high school was over. I also spent most of my free time outside of school playing tennis with Cathy and Sean , working at A&P, and pretty much keeping to myself. I know some people would think of me as anything but quiet, but that was the truth until I started working at the Markham Economist and Sun as a freelance photographer, and when I went to college I really had some fun for a while:)

In college, other than the first few months of fun, I spent my time learning at and driving to and from school, it wasn't a social thing for me, I had my girlfriends in College, a few drunken nights, but I was more interested in dating outside of school ..... 22 minutes from Ballantrae to 404 and Finch .... but that's another story. It just works out that I never put myself out there to make long term friendships.

As for work, other than Ray, a 60+ year old guy and his kids, everybody I work with on nights could be considered "interesting", even a little antisocial, and pretty quiet, but for some reason Ray and I just get along. I've also got other friends, but none I hang around with on an even semi regular basis, and a few that I've lost touch with after being on nights for years.

NOW the real reason for this post, every now and then I get a little melancholy , a little blue, but it has little to do with friendships, it's more to do with being single and maybe even a little about not having children. Now let me tell you this "feeling" is very rare, but I felt it today. After dropping out of camping because of the weather I decided to head to Port Perry late in the day and caught myself just sitting in my car listening to the Sirius and flipping the stations, I ended up on the "Sirius Love" music channel, and that's when my melancholy set it. It's really hard to sit by the lake with the sun slowly going down beside you watching beautiful loving families playing by the lake. Boy o boy can that make you blue!

I'm sure the mood will pass quickly, but just every now a then, Goo, would like a wife and kids.

Yep, I said it:)

Goo

I sure do hope the mood passes quickly, or I'll never hear the end of it.